The questions we answer most often, at showings, at closings, and once, memorably, during one.
Who actually buys these properties?
People, on behalf of birds. Our clients are homeowners, estates, municipalities, and one regional airport buying for its kestrels. The birds select; the humans close. We have found this division of labor works, since birds are decisive and humans can hold pens.
Why are showings held at dawn?
Because that is when the occupants and prospective occupants are active, the light is honest, and the property can be heard as well as seen. We tried a 2 p.m. showing in 2011. Nobody came, in every sense.
What does square inchage include?
Interior floor area only, measured at the base. We do not count vertical space, entry decks, or "potential." Some brokerages measure to the outside of the walls. We consider this a character issue.
Is a bigger entry hole better?
No, and we cannot say this strongly enough. The entry is sized to admit the intended resident and exclude everyone else. A sixteenth of an inch is the difference between a chickadee and a house sparrow with plans. Douglas keeps a laminated chart and he will show it to you.
What is the HOA's matter with the neighborhood cat?
Ongoing, and we are advised not to characterize it further while mediation continues. Affected listings carry the disclosure. The cat has counsel.
Do you offer financing?
We work with Nest Egg Capital, a lender specializing in properties under one square foot. Typical terms run fifteen to thirty years, which we acknowledge is longer than the buyer's involvement. Multigenerational occupancy makes it pencil out.
What happens at closing?
Signatures, keys where applicable (most properties do not lock), and the transfer of the maintenance file. The birds do not attend. They are usually already in the property, which technically makes it a breach, and traditionally makes it a nice moment.
