Every unit we build, priced the way Hank Sr. prices things: once, in paint, on the side of the unit. Walk the lot below. Anything wagon-sized goes straight in your wagon. Anything crane-sized starts with a call.
The smallest unit we make, and the one Hank Sr. calls "the gateway reactor." Doghouse footprint, barn-red panels, working weathervane.
Our best seller. Shed-sized with a gambrel roof so it matches the barn, and a dutch door because Hank Jr. insisted. The hum is quieter than your well pump.
A full farm unit dressed as a galvanized silo. Blends in so well the county assessor has walked past ours twice. The little steam wisp reads as "grain dryer" from the road.
Came off a trade-in and Hank Sr. won't warranty it, which for Hank Sr. is really saying something. Runs, mostly. Comes on the wagon it's strapped to. Cash preferred.
The first reactor Hank Sr. ever built, fully refurbished and technically for sale. He repaints the "1987" every spring and sits with it on Thursday evenings. Serious inquiries only.
An upgraded containment dome for any unit on the lot, welded by Denise herself with the seams she's famous for at the fair. Shown with the barn quilt paint option.
Powers a small town and looks like the fellowship hall while doing it. Clapboard siding, a modest dome where the steeple would go, and room out front for folding tables.
The big one. Twin towers you can see from four townships, with a barn-style office at the base because some things aren't up for discussion. Our largest install to date, and the reason the punch card exists.
By the register
Denise comes out once a year, checks your seals, tightens what needs tightening, and leaves a sticker on the door like the oil change place.
Denise paints a traditional quilt block on your dome. Pick from her pattern book or bring your grandmother's. She will have opinions either way.
The same cap Hank Jr. wears, with the barn on the front. One size. It shrinks to fit if you sweat enough, and around here you will.
Punch card rule, in writing since 1994: buy nine units at full price and your tenth is half off. Units, not caps. Gary at the bank asked us to clarify that.
Hank Jr. wrote it on the notepad by the register, which is our order system. Denise will call you about delivery and the paperwork. There is a surprising amount of paperwork.
Fill this out and Hank will call you. He does these in the order the printer spits them out.
Your request is on the spike by the phone. Hank calls between chores, usually mid-morning. If you hear cows, that's him.