ORIGINAL ROAST
The one that started it all. Slow-cooked chuck roast notes with a carrot-and-onion finish. Goes with everything, whether everything likes it or not.
NEW! THE FLAVOR REVOLUTION GRANDMA NEVER ASKED FOR
TURN ANY FOOD INTO POT ROAST
Mist O' Meat is a pressurized aerosol spray of concentrated pot roast essence. One two-second spray gives cereal, fruit salad, even birthday cake the rich, hearty flavor of a slow-cooked Sunday roast. No oven. No grandma. No warning.
- Works on over 6,000 known foods
- Zero cooking, zero chewing resistance
- Shelf stable until the year 2109
Or call 1-800-555-MIST. Operators are standing by and have been for a while.
ONLY$19.99*
ARE YOU LIVING LIKE THIS?
Drag the handle and watch one family's plain yogurt become a hearty meat experience.
◀▶
AFTER
Dramatization. The family shown was compensated in product.
SO EASY, IT'S CONCERNING
1
POINT
Aim the can at any food. Breakfast, dessert, a smoothie. The can does not judge. Neither do we.
2
SPRAY
One two-second burst releases a fine cloud of concentrated pot roast essence, aged in the can for maximum heartiness.
3
POT ROAST
Your food now tastes like it simmered all day in your grandmother's kitchen. It did not. That's the miracle.
THREE BOLD FLAVORS. ONE BOLD DECISION.
BREAKFAST SAUSAGE FOG
Wake up to a rolling bank of savory sausage vapor. Turns orange juice into a full country breakfast in under three seconds.
HOLIDAY HAM CLOUD
Clove-studded, brown-sugar-glazed ham essence. Available for a limited time, which is a decision our legal team supports.
REAL PEOPLE. REAL MIST. REAL QUOTES.
"I've misted every meal since March. Every single one. My wife left in April, but the flavor stayed."
Doug · Ohio
"I spent forty years perfecting my pot roast. Forty years. Anyway, the spray is fine. The spray is fine."
Linda · Wisconsin
"I sprayed it on a steak. So now it's a steak that tastes like pot roast. I keep doing it. I can't explain why."
Gary · Florida
BUT WAIT!
THERE'S MORE
FREE PRECISION SPRAY NOZZLE™
Order in the next 10:00 and we'll throw in the Precision Spray Nozzle, a $14.99 value, absolutely free. Achieve pinpoint pot roast accuracy on individual grapes, single crackers, or one specific bite of your coworker's sandwich.
Nozzle ships separately. Nozzle may arrive first. Do not use the nozzle without a can. You'll know if you did.
ORDER NOW. THINK LATER.
Only 417 cans left in this warehouse. We do have other warehouses. Still.
THE STARTER MIST
$19.99
One can of Original Roast. About 200 sprays, or one month of Doug-level commitment.
plus $7.95 shipping & handling
THE DOUBLE MIST
$19.99
Two cans for the price of one. That's right, we'll DOUBLE your order. Just pay separate shipping and handling on the second can.
plus $7.95 shipping & handling, twice
THE FULL FOG
$49.99
All three flavors, including the limited Holiday Ham Cloud, plus a laminated card listing foods we've tested. It's most of them.
plus $7.95 shipping & handling per can
ORDER RECEIVED!
An operator has stopped standing by and is now sitting down to process your order.
Your mist ships in 5 to 9 business days in unmarked packaging, at your request. You didn't request that? Most people do.
OUR 30-DAY GUARANTEE: If you're not completely satisfied, return the unused portion within 30 days for a full refund of the purchase price. Shipping, handling, rush fees, and what the can witnessed are non-refundable.
QUESTIONS PEOPLE KEEP ASKING
Is Mist O' Meat made from real pot roast?
Mist O' Meat contains concentrated pot roast essence derived from a proprietary process we describe to regulators as "reduction" and to everyone else as "the mist happens."
What foods can I spray it on?
All of them. We've tested over 6,000 foods in our flavor lab. The laminated card that ships with The Full Fog lists the four we recommend against. Ice cream is not one of them, which surprised us too.
Is it vegetarian?
The mist itself is a vapor, and vapor is famously neither plant nor animal. Our legal team asked us to stop there, so we will.
Can I spray it directly into my mouth?
Yes, and this is called "freeroasting." A two-second oral burst delivers the complete pot roast experience with none of the chewing. Popular with commuters.
My whole house now smells like pot roast. How do I make it stop?
That's the Lingering Heartiness™ working as intended. Most customers report the aroma fades within 6 to 8 weeks, or becomes their personality, whichever comes first.
Why does the countdown timer keep resetting?
Out of generosity.